Abortion
I still struggle on all sorts of levels with this as I have always felt birth control was a sensible precaution. I have always been anti abortion and cannot conceive of a time when I would think that abortion as a method of contraception could be acceptable. This is very much fed by a belief in a modest and appropriate way of living. If you do not sleep around you will not get pregnant. If you get pregnant it is a human life and you are, like it or lump it responsible for it. Having a child is a gift, not a right, not an accident, not a punishment, but a gift, you should treat it as such. That is not to say I think it is acceptable for women to go on having babies until it eventually kills them. I do not, I do believe there is a middle course.
As someone who was born in the fifties I grew up with the massive changes in the sixties when birth control started to become the norm and abortion laws started to be relaxed. Most of us never thought about whether this was appropriate or not, we just knew that girls died having back street abortions and the changes in the law regarding abortion would stop that happening. Of course sleeping around would stop it happening too, but then many women by this time had decided that they wanted to behave as badly as men and do just as they pleased and this allowed them to do so (in my opinion) and before anyone starts getting antsy I know it is not that simple and many girls did not get pregnant willingly or genuinely believed they would be with their partner forever. It is just that I personally believe in a moral code which means you do not keep trying out different men until you find one that suits you.
The changes in the law certainly stopped the back street abortions but it has not stopped abortions generally. In fact it is now far worse in some ways because we now believe that is our right to terminate a pregnancy at any time because it is inconvenient, the baby is the wrong sex or it has something wrong with it. This attitude does not shock anyone. It is a woman’s right to do with her body as she pleases. Really. So it is okay to murder a baby because it is not big enough to scream out loud and say stop, well I have news for those who think that, they do scream, they do suffer, because they are sentient. There are people who think it is okay to let a baby die once it is born because it is deformed in some way or it is has downs syndrome. These babies cannot contribute to society or will be a drain on society so should be allowed to die. I think Hitler would be proud of this attitude, it was just what the National Socialists advocated. No I am not being overdramatic. Killing a child because it is not a perfect representation of who we are is wrong. Just wrong.
There is no justification. None.
I can understand why a mother might want to abort a baby which is not going to survive, I really do, but that is not our modern attitude to abortion, we believe we have a right to kill a growing child because it is inconvenient. We do not want it, we no longer sleep with its father and have moved on to someone else. Well, that is called sin. A small insignificant word in a modern society, which no longer believe that sin exists. I know life is complicated and sometimes we fall for the wrong person, but that does not give us the right to take a life. We make mistakes but we are responsible for those mistakes. I find the lack of responsibility reprehensible.
I have a huge problem with stopping a woman from aborting a baby because she was raped. It is this
sort of issue which gives a lot of Catholics sleepless nights. To be honest, I swing from she should have that right, to knowing in my heart that by saying that you are blaming the baby for the sins of its father. But the emotions involved must be heart breaking and should not be minimised.
Abortion is an awful thing, so many young women have been forced into abortion by their partners, their family or sheer desperation, I can only imagine their suffering as they get older and wonder ‘what if’, ‘what would it have been like’, that must be like torture.
So many women go into abortion thinking it is an easy option, better than being landed with a baby they really do not want. So many desperately regret that in later years. They are not always properly counselled or given the support and the options that are available. Certainly if you do not want your baby there are probably a dozen couples out there who do. We live in a world where morality exists as a convenience. If it is not convenient it does not count. This seems to be where abortion sits and just to say it is a sin, well I realise, that does not mean much today. I know it is a sin, so are many things, what truly bothers me is, how did it become not just normal but a good thing to kill a baby because you do not want it, because it is inconvenient to you, when, did this happen. There are women out there who have had to abort a baby when they did not want to, because it was them or the baby, it seems to me that we minimise their misery at the loss of a precious life. But what offends me most is this attitude that it is alright because a woman has a right to do what she wants with her body. She does but it is a sin, it is immoral and that I think is the problem. Many people now view morality as outmoded. After all every self help book you see tells you, that you are the most important being in the world. You have to do the best by you. Get rid of anyone in your life who doesn’t support you. You have to do what is best for you ignore what others want from you if they do not add to your life get them out of your life.
How do people think we have come as far as we have. Because so many people have put the needs of
others before themselves. When you have a child, that child changes your life forever, because they become the most important thing in your life. You protect them at all costs. You love them unconditionally. It is how we survive and thrive. This is changing though, a child is a commodity and if it is not convenient, if you have fallen pregnant at the wrong time then just get rid of it. Just think about that sentence, just get rid of it. Like a piece of trash. How sad, how wrong is that. Abortion is such an emotive and complex issue. I do not agree with some of my friends that it is simple, it is wrong full stop. I believe it is wrong, but I do not believe it is simple. When people’s emotions are involved nothing is simple. I remember when my second child was a few months old, thinking I was pregnant again, I remember, the fear, the panic I felt, I was genuinely terrified. I was barely coping, just hanging on by a thread emotionally, I had no one to turn to, so I do understand. I knew if I was pregnant I would have it, there was never any question about that, but I remember the fear and the relief when I found I wasn’t pregnant. Even all these years later.
I would never minimise the feelings of someone who felt they had no option but to get rid of their unwanted baby, never, it will for me never be right, it is a view I held before I became a catholic and it is a view I still believe in, abortion as a method of contraception is wrong, just plain and simple. My problem is I also understand fear and shame, loss and grief and the need to be your own person no matter what. I will not minimise the emotions of those women who feel they have no option, but I do question whether they really do have no option and has our society progressed so little that a woman cannot be supported to have her baby no matter what. I could write pages about this, but in all honesty like many people I truly just find the disposal of a precious life appalling and it saddens me desperately.
MC